Joseph’s Tapes #44 [CW: murder/light gore]
Date: 6/04/2006

Greetings once again, tapeheads! Yes, it’s really me, and I’m sorry to have kept you all waiting. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve last updated this blog, but I promise it was worth it. I spent many months tracking this tape down, and for good reason, for I now possess (what I believe to be) a real, genuine snuff film. Now, for many reasons, I will not be disclosing how I discovered this particular tape. As a matter of fact, it’s now dawned on me that I probably shouldn’t be writing this at all… Of course, it could still be fake. In fact, it most likely is. But the morbid curiosity within me, both as a documentarian of old obscure VHS tapes, and the natural desire to want to see that which should not be seen… It compels me to continue on. I will now proceed to view the tape, and I will come back to you with my thoughts as I typically do.

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No… Something isn’t right… None of this feels right… None of this even feels real. I have to describe what I bore witness to. Maybe it’ll calm me down.

The tape began with a shot of what appeared to be a man driving. At first, the distortion was heavy and made it a bit hard to see what was being recorded. Though, after a few seconds, the distortion cleared, and it was apparent that the man had set down the camera in his passenger seat while it was recording. I couldn’t exactly make out what he looked like, as the camera was slightly out of focus. A minute or so later, he parks his car and steps out, shutting the door behind him. There’s a brief moment of silence before he opens the passenger door to pick up his camera. Soon after, he pointed the camera at a storefront. As the camera focused, it revealed what kind of store he had driven to. It was a hardware store.

There’s a sudden cut in the tape here, followed by another moment of heavy distortion similar to the beginning of the tape. After the distortion cleared, I could clearly see the man looking at bundles of rope. He zoomed in on the rope… slowly. It was ominous, in a way. After this, he puts the camera in the cart before there’s another abrupt cut, followed by the same distortion. This portion of the tape showed a view of the checkout counter. The camera was in the same position in his cart as it had been at the end of the last shot. It sounded like the cashier was speaking with the man. The conversation was brief, and somewhat faint, but I could still make out most of what was being said. The cashier asked, lightheartedly, “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you plan on using this rope for?” The man replied with a simple answer, one that would hardly cause any suspicion. His voice was strikingly… normal. Like a man you’d encounter any other day. Perhaps an ordinary coworker at your 9 to 5, or a friendly stranger who would give you advice while you’re shopping for produce at the grocery store. He said one thing, and one thing only. “Oh, I’m filming a movie.”

Another cut. The same distortion shows up once again, but this time it lasts a bit longer. I wish it had lasted forever. I wish I had never even found this tape. I wish I had never watched it. Well, continuing on. After a little while, the distortion cleared. The man looked as if he was finishing setting up the camera, getting ready to record whatever was going to happen next and ensuring that the camera would remain steady in its place. I could get a good view of the man this time. He was wearing a pair of black coveralls, and white latex gloves. He stepped back a bit, allowing the camera to view his choice of headwear. A leather, black-eyed mask of a rabbit, with a sort of ski mask underneath. There was no way to see his eyes, mouth, ears, anything at all. It was very unsettling. But what I saw next was much worse. The man stepped aside, slowly, which revealed the victim he had tied up against the wall.

The victim looked… exactly like me. And I mean exact. The hair, the body, the face, everything. He was tied to the wall with ropes, connecting each limb to a sort of hook attachment that came out of the wall for the ropes to be tied to. Completely stripped of his clothes. He looked like a star; arms tied upwards, like a twisted crucifix, meanwhile his legs were spread and bound to their respective hooks, ensuring that he had no means of escape. He seemed to be unconscious, until the rabbit-masked man woke him with a gentle caress to the face. When he came to, he was visibly confused. Scared. He had no idea what was going on. That’s when he began to yell out for help.

His voice… His goddamned voice. I swear to god, his voice sounded just like mine. Not even “sounded like”. It WAS my voice. This wasn’t right. I took a moment to pause the tape and catch my breath. Was this really happening? Was anything real? I heavily considered ending my viewing session here; burying the tape deep in my memory and forgetting about it entirely. But, for some reason… I just couldn’t. I don’t know what came over me, and I wish it hadn’t, but I knew I had to continue watching. I pressed play, and the tape began again right where it had left off.

The masked man responded to the repeated pleas with a calm shush, and a finger over the victim’s lips. It was at this point the victim stopped jolting in his restraints, and went almost limp. I would have believed that he had fainted, or blacked out in some other way, unconscious, if it weren’t for what followed. The masked man took a knife from a table off-camera, and began to slowly slit the victim’s throat. An ear-piercing shriek that shook me to my core arose from the victim’s mouth. A combination of pained screaming and tears of desperation, as if he knew his life was about to end and there was nothing that could be done to stop it… This had clearly disrupted the masked man, as he paused to quickly shove his free hand over the victim’s mouth, muffling his cries, and continued cutting. At this point I realized there was no chance of this being fake, or staged. This was real. It felt as if I were watching this happen to me. I felt a sort of phantom knife being dragged across my throat–an incredibly uncomfortable sensation–and I couldn’t help but weep.

When I looked back up at the screen, tears still in my eyes, the victim’s throat had been fully slit ear to ear. He was no longer screaming. Blood had covered nearly his entire torso like a red silk blanket, and it was still pouring out like a waterfall. I could audibly hear the dripping on the floor. It was sickening. The masked man stared at his victim in uncomfortable silence for a moment, almost as if he was admiring his work. Before I could even give myself a moment to breathe, the knife was plunged into the victim's stomach. He let out a pained yelp with whatever life he had left in him. Again, I could feel the phantom knife plunge into my own stomach in tandem with the victim on the screen. The masked man took the knife out, and continued stabbing. In, out, in, out, in, out… The only noise being made came from the masked man, who let out barely audible grunts with each plunge of the knife. The victim was now dead. He must have been stabbed at least 10 times… A gruesome sight no one should have to behold. Finally, the man tossed the knife aside, and I could hear the metal clank against the concrete floor.

I hoped it was finally over when the man went off-screen once again, but not long later, he had come back to the victim with what looked like a metal spoon. He took the blindfold off of the victim, revealing his dead, soulless, tear-soaked eyes. He took the spoon closer, and closer to one of the victim’s eyes. I couldn’t stomach even the thought of what was about to happen, and I was already feeling drained both physically and emotionally after everything I had just witnessed, so I pressed the fast forward button. I kept fast forwarding until the tape turned into mostly distortion. I figured that the tape was over at this point, so I stood up to go and eject it, maybe bury it deep where no one would find it, or smash it to pieces and toss it in a fire. I just didn’t want to be reminded of this ever again. As soon as I was about to press the eject button, however, the distortion cleared very suddenly and all I could see was the man’s mask in full view of the camera, staring. It startled me and I jumped back, almost tripping over my chair. I sat back down and continued watching.

The man was just… staring at the camera. I could feel his glare going right through me. He of course wasn't staring at me directly… right? That would be ridiculous. He continued staring, however, for what felt like hours, even though it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. I couldn’t help but feel entranced by his unending gaze, like I just couldn’t look away. Eventually, I noticed I could hear his breathing, too. It was heavy, slow, methodical… deeply disturbing. The staring went on, and on, and on. The black eyes of his mask, darker than the void, staring directly into my soul. Was he judging me? For what I had just willingly witnessed? As uncomfortable as the thought was… I really could have stopped watching at any time. I did not need to see anything that I did. But I kept watching. It almost felt like there was some compulsion to keep going. And I kept watching as these horrible things were being done to the poor man… The one who was just like me. The staring continued on… I almost thought I could see a glimpse of his eyes through the dark lenses of the mask. I slowly got closer to the screen, to get a better look. But then, the man spoke. Just one word.

“Joseph.”

I felt my soul leave my body as the tape ended and ejected on its own. I was frozen in place, staring at the blue screen on my tv. What could this mean? Why did he say my name??? Did I imagine it? No, I know that I could clearly hear the man’s voice, and that he had uttered my name. Did he know who I was, or that I was watching? But that wouldn’t make sense… It was a pre-recorded VHS tape. Did he just decide to end the tape by saying that name? Maybe it was the name of the victim? Or maybe… Was I the victim? That can’t be possible. I didn’t know what to think. I still don’t. Describing this whole experience hasn’t given me any sort of closure. In fact, I’ve never felt more unsure and unsafe in my life.

Consider this an end to my blog. Possibly my online presence as a whole. I’m sorry to leave this way, but I don’t think I can go on like this. Not after what I’ve just seen.

Signing off, -Joseph.

If anyone has any information regarding the disappearance of Joseph Mayer, please contact the Mullville Police Department immediately. It is located on 2191 E Stockton St., across the street from Joan’s Hardware Store.